mother, father please explain to me

Casey Anthony was found not guilty.

I find it hard to believe. For, as a mother myself, there is no way I wouldn’t have been frantic at the thought of my child being missing. Yet she declined to report it for 31 days.

And actually it was her mom who reported it – not Casey herself.

And even then, Casey still lied to the cops for months (years) about what happened.

After the verdict was read, Casey had the biggest grin on her face, and she hugged and celebrated with her attorneys as her mom and dad quietly left the court room without a smile, congratulations, or even a hug. This says a lot to me about Casey Anthony’s innocence in this matter.

I am not saying she purposefully murdered her daughter, maybe she did, maybe she didn’t. I am not even saying that she accidentally murdered Caylee. But all the happiness she showed, and the sadness her parents showed, all the lies she told, her entire demeanor about this tells me that she was guilty of neglecting her daughter Caylee, and of shirking the greatest responsibility and highest honor there is – of being a mom. That she, in fact, was responsible for Caylee’s death… and she didn’t care.

It makes me sad really. It makes me want to grab a hold of Dani and never let her go.

I have no concept of what Casey Anthony is feeling and why (HOW) she can just write her own daughter off.

Rest in Peace Caylee Anthony – I will never forget you. And I promise to give my daughter Dani all the love and support and kindness that you deserved and didn’t get from your own mommy…


there are bad times, but that’s okay, just look for the love in it, don’t burn the day away

Dealing with baby eating problems is not easy. And it seems like I have been dealing with them since she was born. It makes me feel horrible actually – that I can’t even feed my own baby.

First I had problems breastfeeding. I wasn’t making enough milk… maybe 2 ounces every 24 hours. I involved a lactation consultant who had me pumping every 2 hours for 10 minutes and one power pump a day – which is 10 minutes pumping then 10 minutes not, repeat for an hour and and half.

In Dani’s first three days home she lost almost a pound and by Friday of that week (at a week old) she had lost 1 pound 2 ounces, weighing 7 pounds 3 ounces. When her doctor saw her she immediately left the room and came back with a bottle of formula and stuck it in her mouth.

It wasn’t easy admitting I had to supplement with formula but with in two weeks, even with all the pumping, Dani was on straight formula because I had no milk. I tried everything, mother’s milk tea, massaging my collar bone and chest area, warm compresses, even a beer but nothing worked.

Now last week I found out Dani has acid reflux.

She was spitting up a lot it seemed to me but babies spit up. It wasn’t until my sister who had two newborns with reflux fed her once that she mentioned Dani’s eating was typical of a baby with acid reflux. So after a day of extreme fussiness I called her doctor.

Her doctor put her on zantac 3 times a day and told me to add rice cereal to her formula – which would weight it down so that she would keep it down. And here a week and a half later we are still dealing with the constant spitting up and vomiting (forceful rather than dribbling like spit up).

It doesn’t seem to bother Dani, and the doctor said that it should work itself out with in the next month or two. And apparently the zantac is just to keep her stomach acid down so it doesn’t do any damage to her esophagus so it doesn’t do anything for the vomiting.

But I still feel horrible and can’t seem to get anything done.

Hopefully though, like the doctor said, it will work itself out soon.

celebrate we will!

Today Dani is 7 weeks old… AND SHE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!

I was absolutely amazed when she woke me this morning with her usual baby grunts and squeaks at 4:46 am since she fell asleep at 10 something pm last night! 🙂 I got such a good sleep that I had to think about what time I actually fell asleep last night… which was sometime during the second late night episode of  “Two and 1/2 Men” – so around 11:30 pm.

Mommy got over 6 STRAIGHT hours of sleep!!!

Now I know not to expect this every night just because it happened once but I am definitely celebrating the fact that my sleep schedule will be getting more and more regular again.

Now I am going back to bed! 🙂