when the kids are old enough we’re going to teach them to fly

I’m sitting in bed with butterflies in my stomach while I wait for Dani to wake up. It’s her birthday so I took off this morning so she could sleep in (she is just like her momma).

Today she turns three.

It is a little difficult for me to believe that 3 years have gone by since the day she was born.  Best day EVER!

She amazes me every single day by how much she has grown and changed since that day I brought her home from the hospital. I remember when she fit underneath my chin and her legs barely dangled below my breasts.

Dani's going home
Dani’s going home May 16, 2011

Now her legs dangle below my knees.

Dani Jumping
Dani Jumping May 10, 2014

She dresses herself, is potty trained, speaks in complete sentences.

She is intelligent and kind and strong.

She makes my heart sing.

I feel lucky every day that she chose me to be her mother.

So last night, before bed, I told her the story of the night she was born. I can’t believe how crystal clear it still was in my mind…

I remember waking up at around 1 am feeling odd… and not well at all. It was something that is hard to explain but I am certain many other women have felt the same.

After about an hour or so, I realized I was having contractions so I woke my dad and he took me to the hospital. It is kind of funny but we really didn’t know where to go. Labor and Delivery looked dark so we went in the emergency room walk in entrance which, of course, was not where we were supposed to be. They soon remedied that. though, with a personal escort who had his own wheelchair.

I am not sure exactly what you call the area we arrived in but I do remember being told that I couldn’t possibly be in labor because I was still smiling.

The nurse was kidding and humor has always been my way of dealing with situations that I have not dealt with previously, but even though there was pain and I was scared, I was mostly just excited to meet my daughter.

Dani was butt down so Dr. Wynnecott decided to do an emergency c-section (don’t let that scare you, in my case it was just a c-section that was not planned) and they wheeled me off to the operating room.

By this time my mom was with me. She was my birthing partner and actually watched the whole procedure. I almost wanted to watch myself, but decided it wouldn’t be so good if I passed out. I wanted to be awake for my daughter’s birth.

Dr. Courtney, my anesthesiologist, took good care of me even after my water broke all over his brand new tennis shoes. I paid his bill first lol.

The first person to hold Dani after she was born was Nurse Cindy. When Cindy saw me come into the unit that night she grabbed me as a patient because she went to church with my mom.

Dani didn’t cry for a long time. I remember being worried there was something wrong but it was all in vain because Dani was absolutely perfect.

I can still remember  when they finally placed her in my arms. It was love at first sight.

The only time I have ever heard anyone voice what I felt at that moment was recently on the finale of How I Met Your Mother when Barney met his daughter for the first time.

“You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.”

And that is exactly how I felt and still feel about Dani.

So with that, I leave you today, because there is lots of fun to be had today and I must be ready for it!

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY DANI!!! Momma loves you to the moon and back!!



right is wrong now shut up the big lie

For lunch today I decided to go to a local convenience store to get a bagel from their deli and for probably the first time in my life I was struck speechless. I still, over an hour after the attack, feel like I just got sucker-punched in the gut.

And I didn’t – at least not physically anyway.

As I was walking into the establishment a man held the outer door for me. So, as usual for me, I thanked him and to reciprocate, I stepped over to hold the inner door for him.

Not only did he grab the door out of my hand but he told me that he “couldn’t accept that.”


I should have had a good comeback. I’ve been a feminist for almost three years now and I always have one that makes at least one person smile (or clap or laugh) and at least one person question their own subconscious motives for their actions.

This was a first.


Now don’t get me wrong I love being on a date and having my date open the door for me or pull out my chair for me but it is a very different type of interaction than what happens at a convenience store between two supposed human beings on a non-date.

I still expect that I will select and order my own dinner and let the server know when I am done with my plate. The only exception to this would be if I was on a date with a culinary or wine expert, in which case, I may trust their experience to help me with my selections.

But I am still going to order my own damn dinner.

I really hope for my daughter’s sake that he was just trying to be nice, but my own experience has led me to believe that there are just some people out there who do not consider men and women equals.

And, niceness does not equate with kindness.

Sometimes being nice is just being a coward, like when you tell a little white lie to make someone feel better because you don’t want to tell them they have toilet paper stuck to their heel or food in their teeth.

Kind would be telling that person, even if it was slightly embarrassing for both of you.

Nice can also be weakness like when a person stays in a relationship because it is easier than being alone or because they don’t like confrontation or because they don’t feel they can do any better.

A kind person would not play games with someone else’s feelings. They would be brave and honest about their feelings and they would not misrepresent their intentions.

Kind is not always the easiest route but don’t kid yourself and say you are kind when you are really just being a nice coward.

Anyway, now that the situation is in my past I am still offended but I am clear headed and the comebacks are streaming in.

I will have to jot them down for the next time because I am sure that it won’t be the last.

And guys, be a gem and let her hold the door for you every once in a while – especially if you are not trying to get in her pants.