Most of my life I have been afraid.
I still am, truthfully, but I don’t let my fear dictate my life choices anymore. Four years ago I was lucky enough to give birth to a healthy little girl and it changed my life. I know, every parent says that, and they are right every time, but up until my daughter came into my life, and even for the first couple years, I was scared.
I wasn’t scared about everything, just being on my own. And not just in my own house, but living somewhere that my family wasn’t. Somewhere that was far enough away that they wouldn’t be easily accessible to me nor my daughter.
But the thing was, I wasn’t happy where I was and I hadn’t been happy there in several years. I wanted to return to something that was more than just “working for a living” as the saying goes.
When I realized that the fast paced, selfish, and self-centered attitudes of the masses of people on the east coast was not the environment I wanted to raise my daughter in, I had been steadily employed by a large scale, and very profitable, corporation for almost 9 years. I was paid well, but I between the hours at the office, the hours on the road to and from the office, and the hours I spend at home working so that I could meet my deadlines was wearing thin on me.
I wanted to be the one who sent her off to school every morning and made dinner for her, or at least ate dinner with her, every night. I wanted to spend our evenings and weekends in nature, exploring and learning about the real world. Or what I call the real world anyway.
I didn’t want her entire life to be about how much money she did or didn’t have.
And, thus, I took a deep breath and I started putting the pieces into place to make this life possible for us. For the first time in my life, I face my ultimate fear, that if I fell, there would be no one to catch me.
Moving to Montana from Maryland was the best decision I ever made. We chose Montana mainly for the beauty and wildness that surrounds you when you are there. It is also the 4th largest state in area but the 42nd in population. There is much to be explored and learned in the massive wilderness that Montana holds.
Dani has thrived here the last three months. We spend our evenings together and our weekends in the woods, or at least in the yard. I’ll never move back to the East Coast. There is something wonderful to be said for the community closeness in the valley of western Montana.
And there is nothing like riding to work on Highway 93, surrounded on one side by the Sapphire Mountains and on the other by the Bitterroot Mountains, listening to the mellow sounds of Van Morrison’s ‘Into the Mystic’ as I drive to work every day.