Let the Sunshine In


A little sunshine for all my friends and followers today! I love you all… thank you for joining me on my journey.



Letting Go

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.”

Hanh Nhat Thich, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberation

I have suffered from chronic anxiety for over 30 years. Most of that time I suffered but I didn’t know why. It was only recently, with the assistance of my doctor, that I came to realize that my hair twirling and tricotillomania were physical manifestations of my anxiety and that I remember doing both of these from about age 8.

Once I realized that what I felt 99% of the time was not how most people felt and that I could feel better, I was relieved. I suffer from chronic depression as well, as do many people plagued with anxiety, so knowing that anxiety might be causing the depression, or at least making it worse, lifted a huge weight from my shoulders.

For years I’ve been on Prozac and Xanax, and more recently Lorazapam to help combat my anxiety but, although it helps, my Prozac dose gets bumped up every 6 years and I’m taking more and more sedatives just to function in my normal day.

Recently, though, I’ve discovered meditation. I am still new to it so I only do 5 minutes once or twice a day but one 5 minute session can bring about a peaceful state for the majority of the day.

Even with a four year old.

I’m not saying that I’ll be able to get off the antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds completely, but I know that I am moving in the right direction.

I’ve never felt more at peace than I do after a meditation session and I don’t plan on relinquishing that feeling anytime soon. And I hope that daily meditation will help me to become a less angry and more peaceful human being.

Meditation gives me the tools to let go of the anger and anxiety so that I can start to find my happiness through a peaceful and centered mind.

All of Us Suffer

“According to the teachings of Buddha, all of us suffer from our own delusions, and all of us are living in a kind of self-created state of dissatisfaction. This is why compassion is such an important part of Buddhism. Once you realize that just like you, everyone else is struggling too, your heart begins to open, and the annoying, hurtful things that people do start to become less offensive, and more about an opportunity to show compassion.” – Buddhism: A Beginner’s Guidebook

Happy Easter!

I am not Christian.

I don’t know exactly what I am, and I really prefer not to be labeled, I just refuse to worship any entity that supports the objectification or oppression of any group of people.

But this is not what today’s post is about.

I don’t worship any gods or goddesses other than what is in nature. And I more celebrate than worship. Nature is my church. I feel my best self when I stand barefooted in the earth, whether it be in grass, dirt, sand, water, or whatever the terrain may be. The universe is my god and the earth my goddess. It is from them that I gained life.

I don’t profess that god doesn’t exist, just that I won’t worship him in the angry, bigoted, gender biased state that many others do. Maybe she does exist. And maybe I’m wrong; it certainly wouldn’t be the first time.

I believe in science. And that which is proven. And yes, I know science doesn’t explain everything… YET.

Now that doesn’t mean there isn’t a god/goddess. It’s possible that there is a creator of the universe, and thus human beings. Everything is possible and nothing is permanent.

A long time ago, human beings did not know what we know now. They were scared of the unknowing. Fear is a powerful motivator. And they needed a way to mandate superiority, especially the men over the women.

I’m not afraid of the unknowing anymore and, in fact, I embrace it. And as I get older, I’m learning to see the beauty in everything… known and unknown.

no more dick pics

In the last 10 years I have received hundreds of dick pictures from guys I was either dating or fucking. It is something that has always kind of grossed me out.

I understand one picture, especially if we haven’t had sex yet… some sexually transmitted diseases or other issues can be apparent in a simple photo.

But guys, although there are a select few women that enjoy this, most are not turned on by photos of your mediocre penis. Of course, I could be wrong about that, maybe, but I do know that I, at least, do not appreciate them.

Although many men are visual and photos excite them, most women are more touch oriented. A simple caress, kiss, even just a hand at the small of her back as she enters a building are excellent ways to initiate the potential for intercourse. I would much rather receive a text containing words of adoration than a photo of your dick.

And, if you are in doubt… ASK before you send it. She will definitely tell you whether she wants to see your dick or not.