I am very lucky as a mom because not only does my daughter have her own mind and uses it but she also has a HUGE heart. She is one of the most caring people I have ever known. OK maybe that first part isn’t so lucky from a mom’s perspective because we butt heads A LOT, but I will encourage both of these traits in her until the day I die.
The past couple weeks have been rough for both of us and a couple times she’s caught me crying. And her first reaction was always genuinely concerned and loving.
She’d always tell me “Don’t cry, mommy. It’s okay. I love you.”
And I always respond with, “It’s okay to cry sometimes. Never be ashamed of your tears.”
For my whole life I’ve been told/shown/ taught that crying is weakness and we shouldn’t cry. At least not in front of anyone. But mostly that I shouldn’t cry.
Well… okay… I can see the point. But suppressing emotions is not healthy nor is it productive for the healing cycle. No one should ever be taught to feel ashamed of their own emotions and to suppress them.
We must learn to express our emotions, in a healthy way, that allows us to grieve for the things we’ve lost and move on from them.
Crying is a healthy and effective way to do both of these things.
I spent the first almost four decades of my life suppressing my sadness so that I wouldn’t appear weak or vulnerable. It just turned into other stuff and came out in unhealthy ways.
Now, I embrace my emotions, all of them… and I cry when I need to.