So Like, Dudes, Take An Interest

“I think a lot of men don’t understand that women are taught to take an interest in the interests of people (especially men) around them, and like it’s not a faked interest.  It’s more that women are taught how to find things to be interested about in stuff people around us are interested in.  Like how to see what they like about it, or find aspects of it that interest us, and do the emotional work of making it one of our interests and it becomes a genuine interest, one that we often continue to be interested in even if we end up not around that person anymore, not a fake one at all but it involves emotional labor.

And like I see a lot of dudes whose female partners and friends take an interest in their interests but they don’t return the favor and so all they talk about is the stuff that was initially the dude’s interest.

So like, dudes, take an interest in the interests of the women around you.  Try to figure out what appeals to them about it.  Try and see aspects of it that might interest you.  Learn to take an interest in the interests of people you care about.” – Hazel L. Hill

I met this guy recently who blew my mind about male/female relationships and it was only because he took an interest in what I like. I’m not just talking about letting me pick the restaurant or the movie, it was more that he listened to me and choose entire dates based on things I like to do.

Our third date, he took me to the beach so I could charge my crystals in the salt water, a wiccan ritual. Our sixth date, which my phone just tried to auto correct to “sith date” lol, was a trip to an old graveyard that was a mile into to Pocomoke Forest. It not only incorporated my love of hiking away from civilization, but it also gave me a chance to get some amazing photos of a really cool graveyard.

And it wasn’t until that 6th date that I even knew who his favorite football team was.

It’s oddly refreshing to date a man who shows interest in what I like. I’m pretty certain that this is the only type of man I’ll be dating from now on.



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