It is NOT OK anymore!

When I was in high school, a teacher at my school asked me to babysit his daughter. When I got there, his wife was out and the baby was asleep, so he raped me instead.

I told one person. My best friend of the time. 

I thought it was OK at the time. And so did she.

And 4 years later I accidentally slipped to the nurse at my doctor’s office about it.

I spent the next 45 minutes begging to leave because they were trying to convince me to give up the guy’s name.

Because even then, some one knew it was NOT OK.

Now I do, too.

I have to spend the rest of my life knowing that he did this to at least one other girl after me. (I heard through the “grapevine” anyway.) Someone that I should have protected from this predator. 

I fucked up.

If it’s you that’s reading this, one of his other victims, I am so sorry. More sorry than I have ever been. I have no other words than that… except, I believe you. 

Even though none of this is in any way my fault… I still feel tremendous guilt for all the others.

AND… THIS is WHY it’s NOT OK anymore.

Yes, I’ve had a lot of shitty stuff happen to me in my life… the thing is though, so has almost every other woman.

This is a way of life for us.

We are made to feel shameful because of things that happen to us NOT because there are very bad men out there but BECAUSE there are several million men out there who think that what they are doing is OK. And it’s not always their fault… Society programs us ALL to think what they’re doing is OK.

But I’m here to tell you that it is not OK.

It is NOT OK anymore.

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One thought on “It is NOT OK anymore!

  1. Thank you for sharing, Boni. I’m very sorry to hear this happened to you. And, you are right, many of us has had shitty stuff happen to us. In a way, I think it makes us stronger. I hold a lot of resentment, which I wish I could release, it would make me a happier person. But, I just can’t. And … I can’t talk about it. So, it’s my personal torture. I hope you find relief.

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