To Each and All of you…

I wish a new year full of happiness, health, love, and comfort.

To the world… I wish for just a little more kindness.

And to my beautiful daughter… I wish a kinder world full of amazing adventures and lasting friendships.

Some of the best people in your life, my daughter, are not always blood. And some are. But still…

Meet new people. Make new friends. Travel. Experience life, my daughter, and never regret anything because every experience in your life and every person who touches your life molds you into who you are, and who you will become.

I love you to the moon and back, my Dani girl. I wish, and wished, for you.

Interesting Concept

Ash: Mm-hmm. Yeah. See you got Winchesterland. Ashland. A whole mess of everybody-else-lands. Put them all together: Heaven. Right? At the center of it all? Is the Magic Kingdom. The Garden.

Dean: So everybody gets a little slice of paradise.

Ash: Pretty much. A few people share—special cases. What not.

Dean: What do you mean ‘special’?

Ash: Aw, you know. Like, uh, soul-mates… Anyway. Most people can’t leave their own private Idaho’s.

Supernatural – Dark Side of the Moon (Season 5: Episode 16)

A New Year

There’s only 3 more days in the year and I’m ready for it to end. 2016 wasn’t exactly my best year.

But, it was mine so I’ll take it. Besides, what’s the alternative? 

I’ve been feeling depressed lately, partly because I’m alone (although that is also exhilarating in itself) and partly because it is almost January 9th.

January 9th was the day Dennis died. 

It’ll be 11 years this January and although it’s not as difficult to walk through life with out him anymore, I still miss him dearly sometimes. 

I hope you found peace, Dennis. And I hope, someday, that I will too.

Take it or Leave it

Tomorrow’s Tuesday and it’s back to reality… well, sort of since I’m working from home tomorrow. Yay for me!

Anyway, the last three days have been enlightening, I’ve finally put to rest most of the nagging fears I’ve had about my family all my life and I’m stuck between complete bewilderment and utter exhilaration. I’m not going to go into details here but I finally feel like a grown up.

And free. I finally feel free

I’ll still take my daughter to visit my family, she deserves to get to know them… deserves to have at least one set of grandparents in her life. Even if their ideals for what is good and what is right and what is kind are so different from my own.

Limited exposure my friend calls it. “Then you can repair the damage quickly.” She said.

I’ve spent the majority of my life hoping that something would open their eyes… that they’d stop hiding behind the “It was a different time for us.” Bullcrap.

There’s only one way to treat a human being in this world today and that is with respect. Period.

End of discussion.

I know some people suck and take advantage of the system. I know that some people work their asses off day and night to get what they have while others do not. And I’m not going to get into to a discussion on this, or anything else political, today. I am just too tired.

But… I am me.

And this is it. This is my life.

Crazy and loud and passionate… and full of love thanks to my beautiful blue eyed roommate.

Take it. Leave it.

I don’t give a flying fuck anymore.

So it’s Christmas…

And it’s been crazy busy in my life lately, some good, some not good. But either way, it all lead up to this one moment… today it was 7:47 am this morning. 

And then it was over by 8am. 🙂

It’s strange to me how fast a 5 year old child can year through about 30 gifts and her stocking but at least the fun is continuing all day. And, my parents would probably tell you that I was exactly the same way on Christmas morning. 

Part of me is glad for Christmas, I love to see my little girl so happy. Part of me feels that Christmas should happen every day.

And then there’s the part of me that can’t wait to get through the holiday because it’s been about everyone else. It’s such an obligatory holiday. Running this way and that, trying to please every body else… I’m ready to relax. 

Maybe I’ll go to sleep tonight and wake up on January 2… that’s my Christmas wish. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely enjoyed some of the holiday times I’ve spent/am going to spend… some were voluntary, some were for my daughter… those were the ones that exhausted me. 

Some people in my life have never accepted me. Although they claim to love me very much. To some I’m a drama queen… to some I need to get over things and stop being a victim… to some I’m a cold bitch who harbors bigoted views because I won’t accept their hatred of other human beings. 

And to some, I’m a breath of fresh air. 

And those, dear friends, are the people I’m going to try and keep around. 

So have a Blessed Yule, a Happy Hannukah, a Merry Christmas, and a Wonderful Life… ahem… a Wonderful day.