Poly vs. Mono

Over the last seven months I have been learning about different kinds of relationships. For most of my life people have seemed to be forced into these life-long monogamous relationships, when, truth be told, very few human beings actually mate for life.

Only once in my life have I ever been in a monogamous relationship that I expected to last a lifetime… everything else has always been just for now. I have a real huge problem with commitment… but, you know, that happens when a lifemate dies.

Anyway, this other relationship style I have been exploring is called polyamory. There are some amazingly obvious benefits that I have found to poly relationships over mono relationships… I’ll share those with you below.

But I want to stress that all relationships have adjustment periods and problems. And all relationships have difficult times as well as spectacular ones… or at least they should.

So go forth and love… whomever and as many as you want because life is just painful sometimes and we need all the love we can get.

Some of the benefits I have found to being poly…

  1. You don’t have to depend on one person for everything you need. You can have the asexual friend whose shoulder you cry on and the sexy, hot lover that you explore your most intimate desires with. You can have life-partners, both sexual and asexual, with whom you raise children with… or not. You can have someone to go out and dance/drink with when your primary partner prefers to stay home or go to quiet places.
  2. Poly relationships STRESS communication and transparency as the number one rule. Being an ethical slut is of utmost importance at all times. And thus, the openness to accept others feelings, needs (both emotional and sexual), and situations is also of utmost importance. No one should ever be in the dark or be made a fool of. So… when a poly sexual relationship ends… usually a very strong friendship is born. If both the above rules are followed, a deep friendship is all that can truly result from a poly relationship ending… it never really ends, it just grows into something else. (And sex is never really, ever, ‘off’ the table.)
  3. And, because in poly you have opened yourself up to love from many, you will always have a loving shoulder to cry on and a comforting embrace to feel safe in.


Some helpful resources on Poly-amorous Relationships:


The Ethical Slut

More Than Two


More Than Two



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