Speak Up, Men

“I’ve had a lot of guys really surprised when I try to explain that simply being female makes our lives more stressful. Saw these in a post and had to share.

Here’s a few:

1. Carrying your keys in your hand as a “weapon” when walking alone at night.

2. Turning your headphones off to make sure you’re not being followed.

3. Nailing the “I’m-walking-quickly-but-not-so-quick-that-you’ll-sense-my-fear” pace when someone is behind you.

4. Calling friends when alone in a taxi/Uber in order to feel safe.

5. Or texting them your driver’s details “just in case”.

6. Messaging them when you get home to let them know you’re OK.

7. Sitting near other women on public transport to minimize the risk of being harassed/attacked.

8. Avoiding being out altogether if it’s too early in the morning or too late at night because it doesn’t seem safe.

9. Pretending to be on the phone in any number of situations to avoid harassment.

10. Wearing a wedding ring to reduce the chances of men hitting on/harassing you because they respect another man’s “property” more than a woman’s right to say no.

11. Giving men fake names and phone numbers rather than risking their anger at being rejected.

12. Staying silent when being verbally harassed out of fear if you fight back it’ll turn violent.

13. Keeping your drink covered with your hand and getting your friend to watch it if you need to go to the bathroom at a bar so that it doesn’t get spiked.

14. Making sure a friend always knows where you are if you’re going on a first date with a stranger.

[15. Not wearing what we want for fear of being harassed, or judged, and blamed for it.]

[16. 17. 18. 19. 20. Having to explain all of this to our daughters, nieces, students, charges, and other young girls we care about.]

[21.-1000. The trauma of bad stuff really happening to us and our loved ones, which justifies this fear.]

I ask you, men…do you have ANY of these fears on a daily basis? We have all of them. It’s real. And it’s not okay. If you’re a good guy, speak up when your friends think it’s funny to do or say anything that makes things harder to be female. We’ve got enough going on.”


…Shared from from a friend, origin unknown… if anyone knows who wrote this, I’d be happy to give credit… otherwise, this was too important not to share.


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