Boxes

My whole life has been placed into boxes. Not necessarily by me… or by ONLY me… but neat little “can’t stray from the norm, don’t let them see you not be the pretty princess” boxes.

But I’m not a pretty princess. 

I never have been. 

I’m a “fucking drop dead gorgeous when I want to be and still stunning in my own beautiful way even when I’m not trying to be” woman, but I’ve never been a pretty princess… not to anyone except my father that is. 

And I’ve definitely never fit into anyone’s neat and tidy little boxes. Ever. I’m a mess. Completely. I always have been. 

I embrace it most of the time. But I didn’t always. 

Over the last few years, mostly because I’m trying to figure out what kind of mom I want to be, I’ve started unpacking those boxes… oh who am I kidding… I started throwing that shit out of those boxes left and right. All over the fucking place. 

Some of you know this because you’ve been here… Lol

Anyway, things have settled down mostly… kind of… as much as they can when you have an active 6 year old… so now I’m “unpacking” one last box… My relationship box. 

Over the last three months I’ve opened my mind a bit more and have allowed my relationships to become what they would become naturally, instead of trying to force them into these neat and tidy little boxes… and I have some amazing people in my life right now. They all fulfill a certain need I have whether it’s my geeky boyfriend who takes me to see Wonder Woman or my music buff FWB who listens to Dave Matthews under the stars with me. But none of them have to give more than they want to give me. And, of course, they all know about each other… or that there are others anyway. 

I expect nothing and gain everything. 

It’s refreshing.