Thanksgiving Dreams

Thanksgiving has never been one of my favorite holidays. I love to eat, so I’ve always enjoyed the food but I think it’s barbaric to celebrate mass genocide.

Anyway, I received an invitation for thanksgiving dinner from my sister that I haven’t talked to in over a year that went something like this…

“Hey look I know we have our differences and have both said horrible things to each other so that being said. I think we should forgive and forget for our parents sake at thanksgiving so here is your formal invite.”

Unfortunately her memory of what she and I both said in our last conversation has eluded her. Luckily I saved the texts so that I wouldn’t forget that she not only justified my sexual assault at 16 as something that “all woman go through” and that only open-minded people like trump can “grab her pussy”.

Oh, and “Don’t come crawling when you need something because this is one sister that won’t be there.”

I was called a bigoted bitch because I wouldn’t tolerate her support for a bigoted, racist, narcissist who brags about sexually assaulting women. 

I’ll never understand women who voted for trump. 

And I’ll never forgive them. 

These women set back equality a hundred years and spit all over Alice Paul’s grave. 

So, I’m not sorry but I’m definitely not interested in having dinner at my sister’s. Check your texts sister, you were the only one name calling and victim blaming. Not me. I owe you no apology. 

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Mawage

So, I got on the metro this morning and ran into a guy I met for coffee a couple months ago… who told me at the time that he was not married…

Guess who was wearing a wedding band this morning… 

Hint: Not me… ๐Ÿ˜‚

I mean, I guess he could have gotten married in the last couple months, but my experiences with men this past year tells me he was probably married and cheating or he would have, AT LEAST, not lied about his relationship status to me…

And you wonder why I’ll never marry?!?

ย Some Daysย 

Sometimes I wish that when they placed that beautiful baby girl in my arms that distinct day of May back in 2011, that they’d also handed me a user’s manual. 

Because it seems to me that I am, more often than not, at a complete loss about how to parent my child effectively. This happened today when I received a phone call from the vice principal at my child’s school. 

Apparently my child is so frustrated and frightened by the move that she is causing serious disruptions during class… even though we are only moving within the same town and she’s still going to be able to go to the same school. It probably stems from being kicked out of our home in Montana but this most recent move, even though the circumstances are completely different, seems to have caused some heavy duty insecurities in my daughter’s mind… insecurities that I am responsible for.  

So, again, Parenting Manual please?!?!

I know I need to be more aware of how even my inner most fears can affect my child but how do I bury them far enough down that the very smart and in tune little one doesn’t notice? 

I question every decision I make. 

Will it affect her? If so, how? Is there a better way I can be handling this? Am I seriously screwing up my kid?

I’m sure all parents have these same anxieties. But how do you deal? How do you turn off that scared, paranoid little voice in your head that questions your every move so that you can actually enjoy your life with this amazing mini – you?

It’s tough. It’s worth it but it is definitely the most exhausting and complex responsibility that I’ve ever attempted. 

AND she’s only 6!