It’s always sad when you lose a friend…

So, I always start smoking again when I break up with boyfriends and it’s happened twice in the last 7 days… so that leaves one amour left, but unfortunately he’s out of the country this week so I’ll have to mourn this alone. (Remember, I’m poly?)

Anyway, I’ve been smoking the last week and hating myself for it. Two packs alone yesterday.

Sigh.

It’s always sad when you lose a friend.

How I Like My Sex

Several years ago a movie came out that changed my life… and, don’t laugh… that movie was The Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts.

I know, I know… it’s stupidly silly and overly dramatic but it had one really good point… that the female main character didn’t have any idea what she liked (to eat, to do, to watch) because she had never taken the time to figure it out, she’d always just gone along with what the people in her life told her she liked… especially the men.

And THIS is the story of my life.

But after watching this movie,  I realized that I, like Julia Roberts’ character, had no idea how I liked my eggs… or anything else for that matter… and that it was time for me to figure it out.

And, after this movie, things definitely changed.

Only a little bit at first… I tried every way I could possibly think of to eat eggs and I eventually figured out how I really like them (scrambled with cheese and hot sauce or over easy with toast for dipping, also with hot sauce)… and, although it’s taken me a few more years, I’ve come to realize that I should incorporate these same methods into figuring out how I like my sex as well.

So, here I am… moving past the days of sex being about whether or not the man I am with orgasms and into the days where it’s all about how much pleasure I can experience.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it is not all about me… I am GGG all the way… it’s just now I’m making sure that it’s at least partially about my pleasure as well.

Please wish me luck… and lots fun… because if I don’t take care of my own needs, who will!

Speak Up, Men

“I’ve had a lot of guys really surprised when I try to explain that simply being female makes our lives more stressful. Saw these in a post and had to share.

Here’s a few:

1. Carrying your keys in your hand as a “weapon” when walking alone at night.

2. Turning your headphones off to make sure you’re not being followed.

3. Nailing the “I’m-walking-quickly-but-not-so-quick-that-you’ll-sense-my-fear” pace when someone is behind you.

4. Calling friends when alone in a taxi/Uber in order to feel safe.

5. Or texting them your driver’s details “just in case”.

6. Messaging them when you get home to let them know you’re OK.

7. Sitting near other women on public transport to minimize the risk of being harassed/attacked.

8. Avoiding being out altogether if it’s too early in the morning or too late at night because it doesn’t seem safe.

9. Pretending to be on the phone in any number of situations to avoid harassment.

10. Wearing a wedding ring to reduce the chances of men hitting on/harassing you because they respect another man’s “property” more than a woman’s right to say no.

11. Giving men fake names and phone numbers rather than risking their anger at being rejected.

12. Staying silent when being verbally harassed out of fear if you fight back it’ll turn violent.

13. Keeping your drink covered with your hand and getting your friend to watch it if you need to go to the bathroom at a bar so that it doesn’t get spiked.

14. Making sure a friend always knows where you are if you’re going on a first date with a stranger.

[15. Not wearing what we want for fear of being harassed, or judged, and blamed for it.]

[16. 17. 18. 19. 20. Having to explain all of this to our daughters, nieces, students, charges, and other young girls we care about.]

[21.-1000. The trauma of bad stuff really happening to us and our loved ones, which justifies this fear.]

I ask you, men…do you have ANY of these fears on a daily basis? We have all of them. It’s real. And it’s not okay. If you’re a good guy, speak up when your friends think it’s funny to do or say anything that makes things harder to be female. We’ve got enough going on.”

 

…Shared from from a friend, origin unknown… if anyone knows who wrote this, I’d be happy to give credit… otherwise, this was too important not to share.