Telling me that you’re divorced but neglecting to mention the girlfriend you just adopted a puppy with over Christmas is not going to get you a first date… with me anyway.
Mommy/Santa as she purchases the last item on Little’s Christmas list: Yea! Christmas shopping is done.
Little 2 days later: Mommy, here’s my new Christmas list. I don’t want that other stuff anymore.
Little: I need some quiet time. Go to your room.
Mommy: wait??? what???
Little: I need some quiet time. Go to your room… please???
Mommy: Where’s your backpack?
Little: In the car, mommy.
Mommy: You sure?
Little: Yes, mommy.
10 minutes later, as we’re pulling into the school drop off…
Little: Mommy, where’s my backpack?
When I was young I wanted desperately to be popular.
Now that I’m older, I want desperately to be left alone.
The Little recently discovered Beyonce. She has added her own twist on one of the songs.
Little (singing and dancing): If you liked it, you should’ve put a bunny on it.
Little: Mommy! Mommy! The bunny’s a taco!
I look over to see the bunny with a piece of lettuce on his head.